At the end of the day, you must live with yourself. Only you can determine if you have done well that day. 

Do you set goals for yourself? 

Do you write them down? 

What do you do if you don’t meet them? 

Do you simply move the bar? 

Does anyone even know what your goal is? 

Do you say yes to things that you really shouldn’t? 

Have you ever been called a people-pleaser? You would think that pleasing the people around you and in your life would be a good thing. That phrase has taken on a negative connotation over the years because it now is associated with personal weakness.  How did that happen? How did I become someone that cares more about what other people think instead of being a person that focuses on personal goals and answers to my own inner drive?

Have you ever woken up in the morning feeling like you are already behind? You probably have stuff that is undone on your mind.  Maybe it’s a conversation you should have had.  Maybe it’s a project you should have finished but didn’t. Are you wondering “How am I going to get out of that?”

For a very long time, I didn’t understand my own limitations and said yes to many more things than I could do and even said yes to things that I couldn’t possibly get done or wasn’t even interested in. 

If you live in a small town, you probably understand the feeling.  When I first started my business, I showed up everywhere I thought I needed to be seen in order to gain the support of the people in my hometown and surrounding areas.  I attended all the networking groups I could at 10-15 dollars per attendance, I joined the civic groups, I attended networking meetings, I attended fundraisers, I bought  the 50/50 ticket and Chinese auction tickets…an so on.

The truth is – and believe me it was a hard realization to accept – I spent more time and money being where I thought I needed to be seen than doing what I set out to do. Not only did it not help me grow my support network, it set me back further.  Financially and professionally. I trusted people that I had no business to trusting.  I thought that because they are who they are, they would care about me. I was so anxious for people to know what I was doing that I talked about my ideas before I was ready to act on them. Sadly, there were people who were a bit further along in their businesses with a bit more cash to spend and a lot more influence than I had and many of my ideas were stolen, clients were taken, and I was crushed. 

I wanted to help people in my community. But they didn’t want outsiders getting any of the action. 

How did I overcome the hurt that says just because you are “from here”, doesn’t mean that you’ll be accepted here? 

First I cried. Then I got angry. Then I finally got tired of falling short (in my own mind) and had to accept the truth.

I’m not a Salmon. I don’t swim against the current as well as those who are swimming in a protected net, being pulled along by others and placed in protected waters that they have often not even earned the right to be in.

Even Jesus knew when he couldn’t make an impact in His own hometown.  What did He do?  He helped those in other areas where He was accepted.

So, what does this have to do with accountability to yourself? 

It’s just one example. But once you recognize the difference between what you have power over and what you do not; you are well on your way! Accept the hard truths first and it becomes possible to master the small stuff.

Ask yourself why you continue to do the things you do.  Are they causing you more grief than necessary?  Are you throwing you money at things that won’t help you? 

If you are and you are wondering why you keep doing it…there’s your problem.  The value you place on others approval has become more important than the value you place upon yourself.

Now there’s only one thing to do.  Be your own gentle critic rather than allowing others to crush your spirit.

At the end of the day, you must be able to sleep with yourself.  

Everyone answers for their actions someday. Start now by checking your own motives.  Learn to say no to the right things and only say yes to the things that matter to you.