In fact, if you ask 20 people how they make sure they will have a great day, you may likely get 20 different answers. Of course, it starts there, but most days there is so much more that goes into turning that decision into reality. It takes personal action and commitment. And you must be willing to take a personal, internal stance many times a day.
I would love to tell you that there is a simple reason and an easy method to overcome this challenge, but there simply isn’t one.
As humans, we are drawn to the negativity. It takes effort to avoid it.
We are drawn to look at the car wreck, we thrive on the gossip, we continue to watch what is happening in other people’s lives. Is it because we care about them? Do you even know them? Or is it because it makes us feel better about our own lives?
Do you have those people in your life that you wish you would have never asked (the moment it comes out of your mouth) “How are you today?” You know they are going to spill out how they got stuck in traffic, the fight they had at home, how their child’s teacher was unfair…
For many years, I worked in healthcare administration as either a Director, Administrator or CEO. I have also been blessed (or cursed, depending on how you view it) with excellent hearing. And since I have always been a leader that doesn’t sit behind closed doors at my desk, I often heard way more than I wanted or needed to. I listened to people tell the same stories to each person they encountered. What a waste of time and energy. I wasn’t interested in creating an environment where people aren’t welcomed to chat with one another, but I also knew what a colossal waste of time it was for many people AND that for every negative someone hears it takes 7 positives to neutralize it. (Not take it away. It never goes away.)
Here’s what I did. As soon as the last person arrived for the day, I would gather everyone in the hallway and make a big deal out of it. Each person would have 30 seconds to share all the negative things that they could think of – with everyone. I would get out the timer. Ready set GO. Then before getting to actual work, each person would be asked to tell me something good.
When put on the spot to share a negative in only 30 seconds, it’s harder than you may think.
But it didn’t stop there. Then each person was asked to “tell me something good about their life and then something good about someone in the room.
There was no attention paid to the negatives. It was 30 quick seconds and then move on. When it came to the positives, I made a point to comment on the win and get everyone excited!
Pretty soon, people were more excited to share the wins and negative talk was reduced…and almost eliminated.